Things Kids Are NOT Allowed To Say.

Things Kids Are NOT Allowed To Say!

Growing up we lived in a fairly strict household with many rules and procedures.

There were things that we were allowed to do and things that we could not.

We were absolutely not allowed to say the word….

FART!

You probably thought I was going to say something else but no, the word we could not say is FART.  I am not sure why my parents would not allow us to say it.

We had certain phrases that we were allowed to use to describe this incident.  We could say, “passed gas”, ‘tooted’ or when my grandmother lived with us she introduced us to “let a corker!’.

In the UK it is called having a “case of the wind”.  They must not be able to use the “F” word either.

One of our children coined the phrase “excuse me from my bottom”.  Kind of like burping out the other end, which is gross, but it’s cute when a little kid says it.

It really is a funny word for a strange bodily function.  I wonder what God was thinking when he created this phenomenon.

It is the thing that I laugh the hardest at during a movie.  It is the thing that women say they never do but, men really know that women would be exploding all over the place if this were true.

I was a little nervous to talk about this word because I did not want this post to define me as a writer, but just this morning I heard Jeff Goins say on a podcast, (click here to listen) that when dating his wife he was so nervous that he would fart.

So if Jeff can do on a broadcast, I can blog about it.

Unintentionally, we must have passed my parents tradition to our children.

On two occasions, our daughters came home from school very distraught.

They had overheard one of their friends say the “D’ word and another friend say the “S” word.

Bracing ourselves for the worst, and with a pained look on our faces, we said “Go ahead tell us…..” They replied,

“DUMB and STUPID”

What!?!

These are what our precious little daughters thought were the “D” and the “S’ words?

Oh you poor sheltered little Mike girls.

Have we been to protective?

Have we made the difficult decision to keep you from the dark forces outside our front door too long?

How will you ever survive high school?

I suppose, if this is the worst failure of our parenting, we must be doing okay.

I mean they will eventually hear other versions of what can be behind these letters, but not out of our mouths.

And if they hear those words, they had better not call the offenders dumb or stupid.

Oh, and can you imagine the excitement my parents felt, when we moved to Germany and started to learn German from reading road signs…..

The German words for “Entrance” and “Exit” are “Einfahrt” and “Ausfahrt”.

What were the things were you told you could NOT say growing up?  

Or, how about your children?  

Careful, my kids read this blog!