Mar 07

The Honeymoon Is Not Over



The Honeymoon Is Not Over

The first compromise within our marriage was deciding where to take our honeymoon. My wife, Lindsay wanted to go somewhere hot. A place where she could lay on a beach and enjoy the sun. My idea was to go somewhere in which we could see as many sights as possible.

Put both of those together and you get an Eastern Caribbean cruise. Of course, only if we signed up for two excursions per island for every island we planned to visit. There was so much to pack into, such a small amount of time.

We had to wait a week or two to go on the cruise so after the wedding, we spent the night in a hotel to, you know, count all the money we made from the dollar dance. I was just so happy that Lindsay agreed to marry me after the incident. (Read about it here)

We were so excited to go on this cruise together, it seemed like the perfect get away for both of us. From Omaha, we flew to Florida and then on to Puerto Rico. It was here that we spent the first night. We toured the island and walked around Fort San Juan for most of the day.

Later we went to a beach and walked around absorbing the environment. However, my bride was so beautiful, it was hard for me to notice the surroundings at all.

Except the little person. For some reason, I was so intrigued by a little person swimming in the outdoor pool, that I kept zooming in on him with our video camera. So yes, he came home with us in the replay of our honeymoon video.

Before we left for the cruise, we both did a little bit of tanning to get a good base before heading out to the intense heat of the Caribbean sun. Having somewhat of a vampiric complexion, a good base is somewhat of a vague concept. So, I made sure slather sunblock all over myself before exposing myself to the blistering sun.

For some reason, I must not have thought it was important to put any on the recession area of my hairline. It only took about a half hour before that area was torched. It really added a nice touch to all of the pictures we had taken of us. Especially the ones that we got all dressed up for. The next day, Lindsay helped me cover my entire scalp with sunblock, just to be safe.



The next morning, we headed our Carnival Cruise ship, The Fascination. It was the biggest ship I had ever seen! We boarded and headed to our cabin. Somehow, our travel agent was able to upgrade us to one with a window. Excited to see what the room looked like, we opened the door and stepped in. We immediately noticed a problem. Instead of one big bed, there were two twin beds.

Did they not get the memo that we were on our honeymoon?

How were we supposed to cuddle?

Not wanting to lose a room with a window view, we decided to push the two beds together.

Situation, under control.

Later that evening, we sat at a table with other couples, none of which we knew. They kept trying to talk to us but I was unable to communicate.

Everyone’s words sounded like they were in a tunnel and my eyelids kept slamming shut. Each time I closed them, it was harder to get them back open. My head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and it was nearly impossible to keep my neck from collapsing under the weight of it.

As I watched my bride get up and dance the Macarena, my face inched closer and closer to my macaroni.

On occasion, I have been know to have a little motion sickness. Before we left, someone recommended taking Dramamine. This was supposed to keep me from feeling the effects of the moving ship. Having no idea that these pills caused drowsiness to the point of narcolepsy, I took them for two days before figuring out that this was the reason I almost face-planted my entrée.

My wife may or may not have dragged me back to the cabin.

So much for cuddling…


Stay tuned for the next part of the Honeymoon: The Scuba Diving Disaster

Did you experience any hiccups on your Honeymoon? Share your story in the comments below. 

The Honeymoon Is Not Over (Click to Tweet)

If you want to read more Humorous Life Lessons click on the link below.

Humorous Life Lessons


Skip to comment form

    • Kaci Calvaresi on March 8, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Confession: I’m a little obsessed with little people.

      • David Mike on March 9, 2016 at 12:12 pm

      So fascinating.

    • Jay Reed on March 14, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    I was going to surprise my wife with the honeymoon plans. Couples resort in St Lucia. Until she said, “That’s fine, but I don’t want to go any place where we just go to the beach all the time.” Urp. So we settled on a cruise. My first cruise was with a couple of guys, on Carnival, and we did all the excursions we could squeeze in. Which was fine because most everybody else on the cruise/excursions was our age. Honeymoon cruise was, by choice, Royal Caribbean. Vastly expanded age bracket. But we applied the same excursion strategy. Different results. Ended up cancelling our last excursion after one too many garden tours and just went to the beach instead. Some of our best memories were that day!

      • David Mike on March 15, 2016 at 11:46 am

      We had a great time on the cruise. I would probably not do Carnival again. Spring break centered cruises are not my style.

Comments have been disabled.

%d bloggers like this: