My Baby Was Born Without A Face
It finally happened, we were going to have our first child. A daughter, who would change our lives forever. It was an exciting time for my wife and me. One of Lindsay’s life goals was to be a mother and this dream was becoming a reality.
Impatient is not a strong enough word to describe how badly my wife wanted to see our baby. She developed a routine of jumping jacks and squats to try and induce labor. We figured that those movements had the best chance of telling the baby to come out. On a short trip to my parents, Lindsay pleaded with me to hit every speed bump to signal to the baby that it was time.
Apparently it worked. The next morning she woke up early with the urge to go to the hospital. We left quickly picking up the bag we had already packed for just this moment. We also grabbed all of the brand new items we purchased for this new life we were bringing into the world.
Settling into the hospital room, the staff of nurses made us as comfortable as possible. Everything was perfect and going so well. And then the contractions started.
There was a monitor hooked up to my wife measuring how intense they were. I remember watching the numbers go up with each one, and thinking, Whoa!
Each time a nurse came into the room to check on Lindsay, she was so nice to them. At one point it seemed like she was in a lot of pain and so I reached out to touch her arm thinking it would console her.
In a flash, it seemed my sweet wife had changed into a snarling werewolf as she lunged towards me. Jerking my hand back, I narrowly escaped having my hand snapped off by her ferocious sharp teeth. There were no more attempts at touching.
This reaction could have also been because, when my brother came up to visit us in the room, he brought Arby’s for me and we both ate it in front of her. We also kept staring at that crazy contraction monitor, with our jaws dropping everytime the numbers jumped up.
As the doctor came in to check on how far she was dilated, we both were getting nervous. So many thoughts ran through my mind;
Will I be a good dad?
Will she love me?
Will she have all her fingers and toes?
When the doctor said he could see the top of her head, I knew it was time for our little Lydia to come out and meet us.
Now there are some people who say that childbirth is one of the most beautiful things to experience.
An entire baby coming out of where they come out of is the most alien thing I have ever seen. It’s like nothing I’ve ever witnessed.
As Lindsay was pushing, more thoughts flooded my mind;
What color hair will she have?
What color eyes will she have?
Which one of us will she look like?
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
As her entire head popped out, I stared in horror because for the life of me I could not make out any features. No eyes, no nose, no lips. It was all supposed to be there, something was terribly wrong. My baby was born without a face!
The doctor, did not seem concerned.
Why hasn’t he said anything?
Surely he can see that this is a major problem.
He’s probably just trying to figure out how to break the news to my wife.
He just went about his business. The next step, was turn Lydia so that her shoulders could wiggle out properly. And then she just popped out like a baby doll made out of rubber.
As the doctor turned her around to show us our new addition to the family, I cringed because I was afraid to see what was not there. I wondered, how is he going to explain this to us?
Then I noticed all the features that I thought were missing, seemed to magically appear.
She indeed had eyes, nose and lips and she was beautiful just like her mother.
Putting two and two together, I realized that what I thought was a faceless head was actually just the back of her head.
No one told me that babies come out face down.
Thanks for the heads up.
Well, you know what I mean.
Share your embarrasing delivery room moments in the comments.